It’s the first day of April – a day with a rich history of elaborate pranks, marketing stunts, and any other whimsical hijinks the human brain can muster. In honor of this fine tradition, we at Barely Practical decided to whip up a crazy story or two of our own. You know, something really wacky, like reporting that Karl Lagerfeld had indicated to CNN a desire to one day marry his cat, Choupette.
Or maybe an out-of-this-world story of Lady Gaga’s plans to hold the first concert in space in 2015.
The thing about fashion icons, fashion designers, and, well, pretty much anyone from any walk of the fashion industry, is they tend to dream so big that their reality often outshines other peoples’ wildest imaginations. So rather than try and entertain our readers with some piece of outlandish fiction, let’s instead enjoy some outlandish reality. After all, too-crazy-to-be-real shoes are all the better when you can actually put them on and wear them to a party
1. When “Twist Off” Isn’t An Option
We don’t often order beer during our favorite cocktail parties, and if we did surely the bartender would have the sense to open the bottle for us. But if not, it never hurts to be prepared with these heels with built-in bottle openers, available from Hot Topic.
2. Under The Sea
Ok, so apparently these aren’t actually functional, but they ARE real. Created by Belgian artist Paul Schietekat as a statement on global warming, we think they’d look smashing at your next pool party.
3. Pretty AND Practical
Is there any accessory today that’s more important than your iPhone? Milan Design Week apparently didn’t think so when they premiered these 3D printed platform wedges complete with iPhone case. Screen and buttons remain fully accessible, but you might want to practice your balance before tweeting on one foot.
4. The Fair(i)est Of Them All
There are statement shoes, and then there are “winged fairy princesses holding a parrot while riding horses for the heel” shoes. These are the second, and yes, they are for sale by artist Connie Rounsaville. Also available in “five-headed purple hydra,” if you prefer something a bit more aggressive.